And to think you wanted to end it all

“And to think you wanted to end it all”

I have not found anything stronger than this thought of hope, to share with those struggling with suicidal thoughts.

I know the pain you are feeling is real. It is gut wrenching and unbearable. It’s crushing you. You cannot get out of bed, you cannot make conversation, you cannot do your daily tasks, you can barely breathe with the crushing weight on your chest. You don’t want to end your life, but you badly want it to stop hurting. It seems impossible to get through another day, another moment with your hurting soul.

I am not going to tell you others have it worse. I am not going to point at all that is good in your life. I am not going to tell you it is ‘unchristian’ to feel this way. I am not going to condemn your feelings or ask you to ignore them. I am not going to push you to get out and party the pain away. I am not even going to tell you to do things that you love. I am not going to do it because I know you have tried it all. You know you are at the end of a cliff, hanging on my a thread that is at the verge of breaking.

And all I want to tell you is that it will pass. I promise you it will. You see colors again. You will breathe free again. You will laugh again. You will be yourself again. I promise.

Please don’t give up. Please do not end it. Please hold on.

It is so so hard to hold on, but you can. It is okay to just ‘survive’ through this phase, I promise that you will ‘live’ once the dark clouds lift. I know it seems too far and way out of your wildest dreams. But I promise, it will pass and you will look back at it and say “I am glad I didn’t give up”. 

Stay strong. Hold on. Just breathe. Focus on this hour, this moment. You will get through, I promise. Your future holds vibrant colors of love and hope. You will soon look back and say “And to think I wanted to end it all”.

#suicidepreventionday #suicideprevention #mentalhealthawareness

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